I know by way of topic this is quite awkward but i hope you stay with me till the end and fully understand what I actually mean
One of the major tool i think the enemy uses to keep us women down is shame, now I’m not just talking about women who are or have been addicted to pornography, sex, lust, fantasy e.t.c i’m talking about all women right now, i mean i hardly have heard people pass comment about a man whose fat like i have people make comments about fat ladies, neither have i heard people make so much fuss about a man’s figure like they do women (talk about big ass, small boobs e.t.c), women get feel ashamed of things we’ve done and even things other people do or have done to us in the past. That said, now for women who are or who have struggled with addictions of the sexual kind it is always a real battle not to live in shame, i mean if like me you have tried to find help for yourself while addicted you’d realize that the internet has a million help resources for men but a sizeable few for women and that could you to believe that as a woman who struggles with these things there’s got to be something wrong with you, unfortunately our society is a part of the problem, i was reading an article some weeks back where a lady was asking how much of the things we know about sex are you expected to make obvious in your marriage? Meaning we’ve got to shrink our knowledge because we are married and that’s why adultery is prevalent among women, because when you want something and can’t ask for it and you meet someone else who can give you what you want without your asking for it (i hope that’s clear enough tho) it’s difficult not to go with them so you see these things we don’t talk about are the things we ought to talk about, and because we don’t talk about pornography among the female gender you never realize how many of your sisters are struggling too so we all wallow in shame secretly because it not a popular topic.
Now many times we confuse shame for guilt but really they are not the same, guilt is a product of the conscience hence the term guilty conscience, the conscience is placed in us by the lord so we can say guilt is of the lord, it condemns the sin, condemns the act and brings us to our knees in repentance, shame on the other hand is from the devil our adversary, shame attacks our person, guilt says “what you are touching is filthy” shame says “you are filthy”, shame is there to retard our growth and keep us from finding freedom in Christ, shame seeks to isolate you from God and humans who could help you, God has given us mercy freely and guilt brings us to access that mercy, while shame is there to keep us as far as possible from mercy, i like to look at the story of peter and Judas, Judas betrayed Jesus while Peter denied Jesus pretty similar sins if you’d ask me, but in the end peter went on to be that minister whose shadow healed the sick while Judas hung himself (although in some other account its said that he burst asunder) peter felt guilty and reached for mercy, Judas on the other hand listened to the wrong voice and allowed shame and that isolated him and led to his destruction, and so dear sister if you are struggling with an addiction or some other seemingly besetting sin i hope you read this, HAVE NO SHAME, guilt is fine it means you’re in sync with the lord i mean if you can sin and feel no guilt then there is a problem, but shame? DONT allow it, anything that condemns you, anything that has you feeling worthless over a mistake, or generally just has you feeling less, is shame and it does not belong to you, reject that when it tries to come remind yourself that you’re Gods daughter, you’re highly love, you’re accepted by Jesus and his mercy is for you daily. I honestly I’m not proud of many things I’ve done, but its in the past and that’s where is will remain, perhaps I’ve had sex with someone i wasn’t married to, and i have had nights i should have been doing other things but i spent feeding on pornography, but i already have made the mistake there’s no undoing but there’s grace for those who repent so i refuse to allow shame isolate me from the grace that can help with my mess, I’m not saying we should keep messing up but I am saying if you do mess up there’s grace have no shame come to the father he loves you so much regardless and if you’d just come to him he’d use you for his glory regardless your past. I know it hard to believe but addicted or not you are God’s daughter and nothing can take that away from you, stop allowing shame deny you of your place, come to the father filth and all he’d clean you up with the blood of Jesus, and change your garment it’s his job that’s why he is the father.
My life is not perfect i haven’t done right always, I’ve made many mistakes but i have no shame, I’d go back to the cross as many times as i need to, and I’d have no shame because doesn’t belong to me neither does it belong to you.