Growing up one of my favorite game was hide and seek, my major hide out spot within the house was the wardrobe in my room, I’d simply sit there sometimes because there I could hear and know when someone was inside without turning myself in, there were even times I’d sit in the wardrobe and lift up the clothes there and place them over my head just so wouldn’t be seen. But more than just for hide and go seek i hid in there when i had offended and i was going to be disciplined and i didn’t want to be disciplined or didn’t want to apologize. The problem with staying there however is the fact that a wardrobe wasn’t built for humans to stay it was built for stuff so there’s no provision for ventilation, personally i like to refer to a wardrobe as solitary confinement of some sort, it a place of isolation where you get to hear and feel everyone being free but you can’t move out because you’re in hiding, you can’t make sounds because you don’t want to be seen, but worse is you are prone to being preyed upon in there. I remember a time there was a cockroach in the one I was in and on a normal day I’d probably have shouted of even killed it butt because I was trying not to be seen i was silent and allowed a cockroach share my space (or rather i shared its space with it), another thing is did in my wardrobe was to hide stuff I didn’t want anyone else to see (things I wasn’t proud of or things i shouldn’t have), furthermore I hid in the wardrobe to eat when I didn’t want to share my food (don’t judge me).
A lot of us are playing hide and seek with the lord, we’ve messed up, the very things we promised never to do are the exact things we’ve been doing and we know we’re in the wrong but we aren’t ready to be disciplined so we step into the wardrobe, and send ourselves into solitary confinement, and we’re choking because there’s no air for us in the wardrobe, the spirit of God in us is being choked by our hiding, we can’t say the very things we should say, we can hear everyone else speaking but we can’t speak because we’re in hiding. But funny is the fact that hardly ever do we hide in total isolation, there’s always one person who knows we are hiding many times i hid in the wardrobe one of my siblings knew where i was and i was legit at their mercy during my hiding because i was scared they would expose me, many times when we go into hiding we put ourselves at the mercy of people who know we are hiding and why we are hiding. On the other hand some of us are hiding stuff that we know we shouldn’t have, our sins, our secret struggle our pains, our trials, and we don’t want anyone else to see it for what it really is so we’re hiding them. Worse of all like i mentioned in the paragraph above is hiding our gifts our talents and been selfish with them, not wanting to share the beautiful gift God has blessed you with your world, some of us are amazing writers but the only one who knows is your journal,, some of us are beautiful singer but only your bathtub knows that.
What’s funny however is that hiding doesn’t really achieve anything, we cannot stay in hiding forever except we don’t mind dying from suffocation (a story is told of how one of our former neighbor fainted in his wardrobe while hiding). So in the end hiding never pays of, it gives an initial sense of second class safety and then eventually destroys us. Hey there sister have you done something wrong, you are so sure the lord has no mercy for you, he does do feel like you need to hide because you’re so messed up? No you’re not. One of the things i did in the wardrobe was when i was abused i went in there to sit and cry it didn’t seem like anything to me at the time but as I write its coming to me in a new light, perhaps like me you walking into your wardrobe to mourn when something happened and unknown to you, you left your real self inn there you need to get yourself out of the wardrobe, your life is full of hiding and secrecy, sins you have committed and habits you can’t break but you have them all hidden in the wardrobe putting pretty clothes upon them and a beautiful smile over it and you spirit is upset locked up in hiding and there is no breathing for it, you’re sweating inside, choking, fainting but we are too scare to come out, we’re aren’t ready to deal with the pain and vulnerability that come with coming out so we keep ourselves hidden, we want to be free but we are not ready, come out of the wardrobe bring with you all those things you’ve kept hidden in the wardrobe (sins, struggles, hurts, bitterness) bring them all out, get rid of them, they’d stop you from growing, there’s air out here, there’s safety out here in the arms of the lord, stop hiding your gifts and talents you’re blessed to be a blessing, get up and use it. Its time you stop the game of hide and seek its time to get out of that wardrobe, its time to clean up and get rid other those things we’ve comfortably hidden in the wardrobe, its time to come out and quit playing hide and seek.